Geisha
by Yuki Artsa
Summary: An arranged marriage between an okama and a Marine vice-admiral, and neither know what the other is thinking. Two described enemies grow much closer than what should be considered friendly, but will justice always prevail, or is there some evil still in the world today? [Izou x Smoker, Historical!AU, set in ancient Japan and China]
1. Chapter 1

"E-Emperor!" The man immediately fell to his knees and kowtowed several times to the bearded leader sitting before him. "Our sources have reported that Shirohige has recruited a new senchou!"

He ignored the snort from beside him, rolling his eyes as he loudly slurped his tea. "So that makes sixteen commanders now." Garp bellowed, slamming his cup down. If the table wasn't made of bricks, then it would of broken by now (and this is considering the fact that they were replaced daily).

The soldier gulped nervously. "T-That isn't the problem, Garp-senchou... It's the fact the new commander is a woman."

If it weren't for considerable timing of a wife quickly darting in to turn his head to the soldier, Sengoku would be one very irritated, very wet Emperor, but it was avoided by luck. The woman too, kowtowed profusely, keeping her face away from view. "Sengoku, you requested a meeting with the yakuza?"

Of course it was law for woman to hide their face, yet the action made Sengoku bark in reply, "Lift your head, woman!" She quickly raised her face, bottom lip trembling but no tears threatened to fall. He then turned to the soldier, sweating as much as Garp had spat onto him. "Check with all soldiers and write down the list of their wives! If Shirohige has another leak into our information, we must eliminate it immediately!"

The man babbled away before scurrying off, following the woman alongside Garp out of the room. She bowed, closing the paper door behind them, and lead them along the halls to force a conversation with the now pouting Garp.

Hero or not, he would always be a dimwit.

Before Garp could speak, Sengoku immediately cut him off. "If there is even a chance that this commander has infiltrated our base, then you are aware we must dispose of them immediately, correct?"

Garp only shrugged, picking his nose nonchalantly. "I'm just curious how these women manage to live here with you." Clearly not realising the raven was staring daggers into him, he continued, "I mean, you have this whole harem and yet you don't go after anyone."

"They aren't my wives, baka." He scowled.

"Of course they aren't!" Garp laughed heartily, startling their guide.

Having difficulty to choke Garp in pure hate — he usually just stabbed him in the eye over and over again in his mind, he walked past the woman who quivered once more under his fierce glare. She took back her role and lead the two on (although Garp did fall behind), bowing after reaching a new door decorated in blossoms, with an evident argument occurring behind the sliding doors.

 _"Baka! You men are too foolish to understand the true meaning of love!"_

Sengoku rubbed his eyes, whilst Garp cackled stupidly, slapping a giant's hand onto the woman's back; it was a miracle she wasn't sent flying through the wall, as she had moved forward to cease the power's hit even just a little. Even with this, she was lucky her lungs weren't well and truly crushed from her ribs when they collided. "Looks like Hancock hasn't changed much, eh?"

None of them seemed to hear her dreamy talk about her first crush (who'd want to, anyway?) and the two men stepped inside almost immediately interrupting the conversation said female was having with six aggravated yakuza.

Well, almost six.

Kuma wasn't necessarily interested in said conversation and only acknowledged the two visitors with a glance, before returning to his book and sipping his tea. He was a giant to say the least, if he hadn't clearly been able to cross his legs, nobody would of thought it possible. He sat furthest from the table that held an assortment of tea and cups for each of them.

The only one who seemed to be using it other than Kuma was the fishman Jinbei. Like Kuma, it was obvious he didn't care to listen to her talk about the male's genetic faults; his eyes were closed, only opening an eye before closing it again. Meditating, perhaps? Whatever the case, he clearly was with a headache from Hancock's meddling about this secret "lover", if that could be said.

Boa Hancock, the most sharp-tongued woman in all the sea was in love — madly, it seemed — with someone of the opposite sex? That guy must be a vegetable if that was the case. The main suspect who seemed ready to murder her without question was Moriah. He had his head pressed into the table, covering his ears with two cups and groaning loudly as if a cow was in his place, listening to whatever she was spouting.

If not for a black sword prodding his side, without a doubt he would of killed her by now.

Said owner seemed to be sharing the same restriction, looking intense, bored and half-asleep in one glare. The reason wasn't from the woman in question, however, but from the pair (one of whom would castrate you if you said that to his face) sitting opposite of him. Mihawk looked just about ready to stab himself or Doflamingo and do Crocodile a favour, but the pervert didn't seem to care they were glaring daggers at him. Instead, he casually mused about his property in a newly-conquered region, whilst also possessively trapping his lover with a free arm and pulling him into his lap, which clearly didn't sit (no pun intended) well with the violet-haired man, scowling with a terrible blush and ready to either drag Doflamingo out of the room or kill him; nobody seemed to care for the choices, although the blonde would prefer the former, of course.

The woman had silenced herself, noting the new arrivals and eyed both with caution. They were old, after all, who knew what kind of sick fantasies they had in mind. However, after a short glare to Sengoku, she gave in and stepped down from the table that somehow still sat in one piece, and sat, albeit further from everyone else.

Jinbei had opened his eyes, letting Kuma, who had shut his book and gotten up, poke Moriah, after a few death threats before he realised the meeting was _finally_ beginning. He sat the cups down, pushing away Hawkeye's blade with a scowl, before all eyes were on the Emperor.

"The situation has arisen that Shirohige has a newcommander, a woman." He made sure to avoid looking to Hancock, her expression a mixture of insult and irritation at his comment and interruption. "This is a very serious issue. If he has another leak into our sources, then the least expected would be a woman, and it would endanger our position."

He sighed through his nose, and rubbed his eyes, muttering, "The governmenthas requested that all of you must attempt to assassinate this new commander before they interfere with our deliverance of justice. That is all."

* * *

"Are you sure you want to follow through with this?" Thatch asked his brother for the umpteenth time. He received a soft smile and a laugh that would surpass as feminine.

"It's to prove my worth to the family, right? And besides, what could be more fun after I've been gone so long?" The pompadour drooped as the cook sighed, and Izou had to stop himself from smirking.

"What, are you worried about me?~" Izou lifted his chin up and stared straight into his eyes, and the man scrambled away with a faint blush.

"D-Don't do that!" He stammered, to which was not missed by Ace, who had a grin splitting across his face with amusement. "Careful there, Thatch, she'll get you hook, line and sinker at this rate!" He laughed, ignoring the glare thrown in reply.

"Thatch has a reason to be concerned, Ace," a cool voice mused, and the freckle-faced pirate shrugged nonchalantly. "I escaped him easy, why would Izou struggle to fool him, Marco?"

Said blonde, "pineapple-do" shifting as he pushed himself off from the wall, crossed his arms. "For one, Izou is posing as a female, unlike you, and even if he does it better, there is still the chance he'll be caught before he can extract any information." Clearly, he wasn't dampening the mood on purpose, but did so blatantly and carelessly. "And, he is a non-Devil Fruit user, who is to be the forced wife of a Marine vice-admiral. Do you really think he'll get through it scot-free?"

The poser in question huffed, glaring daggers at Marco. "How else are we going to get information on the Government's progress if we don't? A forced marriage with a high ranking Marine is the easiest way to do so, Marco." By the waver in the commander's eyes, Izou knew he wanted to oppose the decision, but he was a lot like a woman, and wouldn't budge easily. Izou's smile grew as Marco silently gave in. "I'll be back soon, Pops, and I'll be sure to get a good bottle for you while I'm gone."

The giant of a man smiled softly, but also sadly, at the thought he was letting his new son take on such a dangerous mission. But, he had faith in his son and and said simply, "I'll be waiting to share a toast with you again, Izou." His voice rumbled like thunder, but it was clear there was a sense of longing, and the okama smiled in return, waving to his superior before jumping from the ship, shaking down his kimono. He could hear his newly bonded brothers wishing him good luck and farewells, but Izou didn't return them.

He'd return safe to them, that he promised, no matter what.


	2. Chapter 2

Half ten exactly, and a light knock on the door broke the awkward conversation Smoker had been dragged into. The two kind, elderly faces sitting around the table, ushering for their son to answer the door — for the past two or so hours, Natsumi and Yasu Smoker (the Marine had adopted the surname of his own accord and nobody had questioned it; yet his parents still called him by his first name in private) had been complimenting about his arranged wife whom he had yet to meet. It was the typical shower of praise to the mystery woman, describing her as a beautiful individual who would certainly fit to Smoker's gruff lifestyle.

And the poor Marine had no choice but to listen.

If they said another word about how caring or kind she was, he would be needing a few more packs of cigars — he didn't go through his imported collection for about a month, but with the rate his parents were going, he would probably start taking up chain-smoking with three cigars.

Ignoring Natsumi's scolding of his imperfect jacket made from velvet, or the lack of clothing covering his front to reveal a fine set of muscles (Yasu merely encouraged it, saying he'd become much more "appealing to live with", forcing a grunt from his son), he trudged over to the door with his usual baggy grey pants and leather boots (also imported — he had spent some time outside of Japan and preferred wearing this more than anything) and slid open the door.

The woman outside blinked for a moment before bowing her head. "Good morning, is this the Smoker residence?"

Well... This was unexpected, to say the least.

Vice Admiral Smoker, huh? Izou had to admit, he certainly looked the part, especially with the two cigars sitting in his mouth. The man seemed to be taking his time looking over the geisha, however, draped in a fine red and pink silk kimono, face decorated like a porcelain doll, and hair that could best even a goddess, not a strand out of place.

"S-Smoker?" He asked once more; a feminine tone wasn't quite what he was used to, so he sounded much more mature, but almost impossible to distinguish as someone pretending to be a woman.

The Marine blinked a few times, reaching for his cigars as he exhaled a plume of tobacco smoke — irony was bliss, it seemed — and he shuffled to the side, barely letting enough space for someone to pass through. Well, with such a sculpted chest, it made sense to Izou, and the thought of Ace comparing to someone clearly older _AND_ stronger than him made him smile softly, slipping past silently and following the given route (shown with a nod of his head) gracefully.

Hearing the reunion between _"her"_ and Smoker's parents, he gritted his teeth, sitting the cigars back to their usual spot and shutting the door with a bang.

"Ayame-san!" He could hear his mother laugh, returning to his spot as the two exchanged chatter and greetings, whilst Yasu nudged him with a smirk.

"Beautiful, isn't she? If I was twenty years younger, and a different man..." His father laughed lightly, and the Marine had to fake a smile.

This was the red-light district for a reason, as anyone who couldn't watch their back would have a knife in their chest. And among all the thieves and thugs who lurked, there were seducers looking to pick up the scraps, both men and women.

He knew a person's gender easily, but this _"Ayame"_ must be a professional to be so utterly perfect at her facade.

* * *

"I hope we didn't burden you, Ayame-san... Our son is a little rough around the edges, but he is an honest man at heart," Natsumi proclaimed, half-hugging the taller male who had lit a new pair of cigars and barely reacted as she shook him roughly, like someone trying to retain a person's consciousness.

Izou smiled softly, shaking his head."I had no such problems, Natsumi-san, though I did not greet myself properly to your son." Izou bowed his head, barely surprised he had been met with a stone face the entire time. "My name is Ayame Sung, it is a pleasure to finally meet you, Smoker-san."

After a sharp jab to the ribs (that woman had bones stronger than anyone her age), Smoker too bowed his head. "Same," was the reply he gave, ignoring her mother's tut of criticism he knew too well.

"Ayame-san is half Chinese, and her family has her belongings, Smoker, so we expect you to make her welcome," Yasu ordered in a terrible attempt to be strict, making Izou muffle a laugh; he reminded the raven of Thatch incredulously so.

"Thank-you very much, Natsumi-san, Yasu-san." Izou stood up to give them a bow, offering to lead them to the door, but Smoker was quick to follow, much to their surprise.

"There's no need," Natsumi had said, but her son was stubborn, and wouldn't take no for an answer, so the hall had become quite cramped for Smoker, and his "wife-to-be".

What neither of the two expected, however, was their insistent staring and gesturing. "You two are getting married, you should at least kiss her, Smoker," Natsumi once more scolded, but Izou quickly attempted to cover.

"T-There's no reason for him to do so, Natsumi-san! Even if it is a sign of love, we've just met..."

Yasu smiled, resting a hand on her shoulder. "He won't bite you, if that's what you're afraid of."

Neither could come up with an excuse to give them, so Izou immediately took action, pulling the collar of his coat to reach him, and pressed his lips against his own, eyes softly closed whilst the Marine was still trying to understand the situation. For Izou's own good (at least, he thought as much), he pulled away after a few seconds, a crimson blush growing across Smoker's puzzled face.

His parents smiled and laughed at his reaction, and Izou himself was a little embarrassed, but not as flustered as he let on. The two finally parted with Izou wishing for their safety, before returning to the previous room and left a still shocked Smoker standing there like an idiot.

It was almost five minutes until Izou finally decided to break him from his dazed state, snapping his fingers and smiling at the scowl given in return. "Was that your first kiss, Smoker-san?" He didn't let the Marine reply, in his left hand, a well-polished knife that he pointed at his throat.

"I can't read your thoughts, but something tells me you've figured out I'm not female. I dislike this situation as much as you do, but unless you want to hurt Natsumi and Yasu, then accept it for now."

The knife was moved away, and Izou gave a mischievous smile. "You should get used to it, if you can't kiss your own wife yourself, baka. It's either this or break your parent's hearts, so just pretend we are married, okay? Then it works out for all of us, _Smoker-san~_ "

* * *

 ** _*Ayame Sung, Natsumi Smoker and Yasu Smoker are not their "actual" names — they are for fictional purposes only, and Smoker's parents are just titled this for reference in this fanfiction alone. Izou's fake name, Ayame Sung will be mentioned later in the story, but when a situation involves Izou, it will be "he" instead of "she", just to clear any confusion in advance._**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Wow, I finished this chapter in less than a day, even I can surprise myself sometimes XD_**

 ** _Thank-you so much for the constructive criticism, Vergina-senpai!~ You have no idea how happy we (well, not really Shiro) were to see you were enjoying my story, so I wanted to get this out as soon as possible!_**

 ** _I tried fixing up the other chapters, so hopefully they flow a little better; I'm happy with the last few paragraphs, I almost finished this yesterday and completed it a few minutes ago. After a night with very little sleep, a lot of fanfiction reading — including rereading A New Shade Of Black, ironically XD — I just had to publish this ASAP._**

 ** _Hope you enjoy, Vergina-senpai, enjoy the yumminess I sacrifice to you '(- -), -whirls over like Sanji, bows, holds out silver platter with chapter especially for you-_**

* * *

Despite Smoker's insistence, Izou had almost forced him to sit back at the table, smirking slightly as he felt the grey eyes watch his back. "Like what you see?" The raven joked, turning slightly to catch a glimpse of the crimson-faced Marine, who buried his face in the smoke of his cigars. The threatening growl coming from Smoker as Izou muffled a laugh was ignored, and he returned to cooking.

Even if he was an okama, that didn't mean he had no experience in the kitchen; Thatch wouldn't let him die if he didn't know how to cook basic meals (since half of the family somehow ruined their food in seconds).

"What am I supposed to call you, anyway," Smoker asked gruffly, catching Izou by surprise. The raven didn't look back to him, however.

"Just call me Ayame; I'm meant to be your wife, remember, _darling_?" He could tell the blush had returned to his face, and now, he had to chuckle. "If you're asking for my real name, you're doing it wrong."

Smoker scowled. "How so?"

Izou turned fully, pointing to him with a spoon. "If you're going to ask for someone's name, then you need to introduce yourself first. No wonder you're such a stiff person," he smiled a little now, "because you haven't had a decent conversation before."

The white-haired man blinked, before biting down on his cigars. He was right — he wasn't a social person in the least, but clearly, he had to become one if he wanted to find out what an okama was doing here. Clearing his throat, he let out a breath of smoke, muttering, "I'm—"

"Is that really the best you can do?" Izou drawled.

Smoker could feel the anger bubble up inside of him, but after a suck of his cigars, it calmed _slightly_. "My name is Smoker, who are you, if I may ask," the Marine finally said, in a voice that was like scratching sandpaper with your nails.

"Could do better," Izou sighed, bringing over a pot of tea and resting a hand on his hip. The raven hadn't necessarily done so for the Marine to watch him over, but it seemed like he had. The kimono was tied in the middle with a soft pink sash (ribbon-style, for those interested) and showed off his slim figure extremely well. His hips were curved quite well, and despite the flat chest, that didn't leave much to the imagination of what lay underneath.

Izou smirked once more, returning to the counter with a sway of his hips that was clearly intentional. He kept quiet about the blush decorating Smoker's cheeks which had turned worse, and sat down some cups, chopsticks and bowls, and a steaming bowl of rice with sliced vegetables and fish. The okama scooped some into his own, and was about to eat before he finally said, "You can call me Izou; _just_ Izou."

Smoker blinked, nodding his head and gave a quiet thanks before filling his bowl and slowly begun eating. It was, surprisingly, edible (Smoker was terrible at cooking in comparison) and he ate through it like Ace did with his food.

"Why are you here anyway, Izou?" The name seemed to sit on his tongue for a moment, before jumping out, like he was holding a creature and threw it away; it felt so strange saying it.

"Does it really matter?" He asked, "I'm here to pretend to be your wife and satisfy Natsumi and Yasu-san's happiness that someone as prickly as you, could get a wife."

"Prickly?"

"Like a cactus," Izou explained with a smile. "You won't let anyone get too close to you, so you decide to defend yourself from the world and scare off those around you."

"That didn't answer my question."

"Yes, it did," the smile grew into a smirk, "because you were asking why I called you prickly."

"My _first_ question," Smoker snarled.

"Have you already forgotten your own wife's name?" He faked a pitiful look.

"You know what I'm asking!"

"You didn't answer mine, though, so we're even."

"... Which was?" The Marine rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Does it really matter why I'm here _,_ " he repeated, a faint smile growing on his face. Izou begun to pour himself a cup of tea, before Smoker's voice interrupted the silence.

"It does. It matters to me."

The raven hadn't expected such a serious response, having thought he would lash out like he had before. But, Smoker had answered his question, so he had to repay the debt. Izou took a sip, before sitting the cup down. "I can't say." With that, he picked up his dishes and carried them away from the table, and the issue wasn't pressed any further.

* * *

If Smoker had taken some thought into what marriage entailed, he would of realised that not only it involved kissing and living together, but also much more mature actions, like the problem he was facing right now.

Izou, pale skin faintly lit in the moonlight, was lying naked in his futon to one side.

The raven had disappeared straight after the conversation ended, and Smoker didn't question where he went; it didn't concern him, anyway. Instead, he returned to his usual routine — 500 sit-ups, push-ups and crunches before bed and again when he woke up — and, as usual, headed to bed late. It was probably midnight, if he had to guess, and Izou hadn't stirred, even when he came in.

His face was peaceful, and the kimono he had on was neatly folded and placed against the wall, whilst his hair was splayed out like his fingers resting by his face, the makeup still in place and kept perfectly (did he do it before he went to bed, Smoker had to wonder) suited the hourglass figure he had pictured; long legs, chest rising and falling slightly, and the same marble skin that made him look like a reincarnation of a god.

Smoker had three options, overall: Share with Izou and lose his pride as a man, sleep on the floor with no extra blankets (the okama was using them) on the cold night, or kick him out and truly be a prickly person, like he said.

With a quiet sigh, he begun to slip out of his clothes. He wouldn't even let a pirate sleep without a blanket, especially with how cold these nights could get. Izou clearly wouldn't let him forget he was considered a cigar-smoking cactus, but he only hoped the okama would understand why he came to the final decision.

As carefully as possible, he slipped under the blankets and left some space between him and Izou — they were both men, after all — before closing his eyes. However, feeling an arm wrap around him took him by surprise, and he was pulled into Izou's embrace, back pressed against the raven's chest.

Despite his appearance, the geisha's hold was rather strong and Smoker would have to risk using his abilities to escape, which would be pointless in truth. He would of become a red light in the darkness if it was possible, from the soft hand caressing his chest and drawing faint patterns. It felt like silk, whenever Izou brushed his fingers across the Marine's chest, and he gritted his teeth to try and keep quiet.

"My previous partners have usually been quite vocal, unlike you Smoker. There's no shame in expressing how you feel." The black-haired male was awake, it seemed, but dreary and hinted with sleepiness which made it all the more delicious to listen to. He could tell Izou was smirking behind him, resting his chin beside the Marine's ear and keeping him in place with his hold (which, he actually let go when he awoke) and the distracting paths his fingers took, like he was strumming a harp; it was delicate, smooth motions with intent for perfection and beauty.

Smoker didn't comment. It was clear what he wanted to say, he wanted to find out why Izou was here, why he was doing all this when it wasn't necessary, and he knew that the okama wouldn't answer. He didn't expect, however, the shifting of the blankets as Izou sat up, and, as the Marine turned to face him, he received a slow, soft kiss.

It wasn't like earlier, when they were in front of Smoker's parents and pretending to be a happy couple, but it was much more emotional despite the depth. It was as if Izou was answering the question pressed on his lips with his own, and he didn't resist the taste of chocolate flooding his mouth as Izou sucked his bottom lip until his tongue was allowed to enter his mouth. It didn't go far, however — it stroked and petted his tongue in an affectionate sense, before he pulled away, the string of glistening saliva only a small reminder of the kiss; Smoker's confused face was the most evident sign.

He gave Smoker a warm smile, a light peck on his cheek, before curling up against his chest, still possessively holding Smoker without force. Izou's breaths came as a splash of cold water to the Marine, and he once more realised that he had been kissed again, and that he was still out of place when it came to these situations.

However, giving one final glance to the ink-black hair that now was threaded through his fingers assuringly, and feeling that warmth on his lips and cheek (that of which would definitely leave a stain), he pulled Izou closer and let himself drift into a much needed slumber, with Izou's hidden message still strewn in his mind;

 _"If you can trust me, then I can trust you enough to tell you the truth, Smoker."_


	4. Chapter 4

**_I UPDATED! IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!~_**

* * *

It hadn't even been a month, and already, Smoker was ready to impale himself with his jutte; Izou didn't irk him as much as he had the last few weeks, and that made Smoker irritated nonetheless. He was accustomed to Izou asleep before him at night, the raven resting against his chest when he was awake in the mornings, and somehow always up and making breakfast by the time he had finished his early routine.

He was becoming _comfortable_ with Izou living with him, and that was what agitated him.

The okama hadn't tried anything foolish, like drug his food, or embarrass him publicly (unless using him as a bellhop whilst they shopped was classified as embarrassing, but that made him more awkward than anything), but those subtle things, like kissing him on the cheek before he left, greeting him when he came home, and holding his hand when they were together, still left Smoker flustered, but not to the point where he would freeze and burn up in a crimson blush.

This kind of intimacy wasn't normal for him, and he hated the unexpected change in his personality. If someone complimented him, he would thank them instead of ignoring them blatantly. When someone made a crude remark about his relationship with Izou (usually that a beautiful "woman" like her was better off without Smoker), they were sent flying through eight paper walls. When he was returning home, if another woman (and even men, on occasion) attempted to flirt with him, he shook them off and strode away with an air of disgust aimed towards them.

Everyone seemed to notice it, except Smoker himself, up until the point that Tashigi, his second-in-command, had dawdled in his quarters longer than expected. Whatever she was doing, it was none of the Marine's concern, but the curious glances she gave him every few moments put him on edge. Finally, he sighed tiredly and threw the paper he was reading down, leaning back in his chair. "Alright," he said dryly, "what is it, Tashigi?"

The klutzy, innocent Marine perked her head up, as if she had intently been arranging his files the whole time. "S- Smoker-san?"

"What's up with you recently," he quizzed, blowing out a stream of smoke from his lips.

"I-It's nothing, Smoker-san, really!" She squeaked, giving a clumsy salute and almost hitting her glasses in the process. However, the glare she was receiving from Smoker said that he wasn't accepting that as an excuse, and it made her feel intimidated once more, but she still felt the urge to point out the changes. "You just seem...calmer, as of late."

"How so?" He squashed the butt of his cigar in the ashtray.

"First off," she nodded to the cigar, "you've only been smoking one cigar instead of two, Smoker-san."

"And?" Smoker asked, as if the change wasn't unexpected.

"Y-You have been a lot quieter and less, um, strict, on the crew, sir," Tashigi added, playing with the hem of her shirt shyly. "It's a nice change, I think..."

Previously, Smoker would of barked at her expecting a better response, or immediately insisted on why she considered it good that he changed, but instead, he kept his mouth shut, his thoughts locked onto Izou as if he had some lovesick crush, and he couldn't hide the faint blush tinting his cheeks.

"Is Smoker-san blushing, Hina asks?" The bubblegum pink waterfall of hair that belonged to only one Marine who agitated Smoker, had strolled in with a nonchalant sway of her hips, slamming an opened palm onto his desk. "Hina thinks this is most unusual for Smoker-san and Hina's wondering why he is reacting this way."

Tashigi nodded in agreement, closing her eyes in thought, before they snapped open, and she clapped her hands happily. "There has been a rumour going around that Smoker-san has a woman," she said, to the astonishment of Hina, and utter regret of Smoker, his aura darkening slightly. Now even the pink-haired witch knew about Izou, and he knew he wouldn't hear the end of it from her.

However, Hina didn't ask anything more from Smoker, staring bewildered at him briefly, before assumedly trying to imagine what this woman was like to of made such an impact on the stone-faced man. She shook her head, sighing in defeat. "Hina can't imagine _any_ woman capable of dealing with him," she mused, having had first-hand experience in the past in dealing with the Marine.

 _"That's because she isn't a woman,"_ Smoker reminded himself, only adding salt to the wound he only just realised; it was a _man_ , in _his_ house, being _affectionate_ to _him_ , and _changing_ how _he_ acted on a daily basis. It just wasn't right. Hina's sudden slam on the table broke him from his thoughts, as she pounded on it for the second time already, now with a determined look in her eyes. "It's decided, then."

"What is," Smoker asked, having tuned out from her rambling.

Hina grabbed the paper in front of him and slapped him over the head with it, frowning. "Why," — _slap_ — "weren't," — _slap_ — "you," — _slap_ — "listening," — _slap_. When she had finished, Smoker took the paper back with a growl, whilst the woman had begun strolling out, seemingly satisfied. Hina stood by the door and looked back, lighting herself a cigarette. "Tonight, at seven. Tashigi-san and Hina will be at your house to meet this mystery woman over tea. It's arranged, don't say she won't be able to make it, Smoker-san, because Hina will not let you off until she sees this mystery woman."

She gave a casual wave and left his quarters, Smoker staring at the door, before sighing heavily, shutting his eyes. "Smoker-san?" Tashigi asked worriedly. The man rubbed his eyes, before looking at the now saluting Tashigi. "Bring along something that'll shut the witch up tonight," he ordered, watching her blink with a pair of wide eyes. Smoker ignored her reaction, and lit himself another cigar.

Well... This was going to be fan- _fucking_ -tastic.

* * *

The vice-admiral hadn't ever really had a lot ( _if any_ ) emotion throughout his lifetime. He just didn't see it as necessary. Other than the different levels of anger he experienced throughout his day — tiredness, irritation, aggravation, hate, and you-are-dead-now, he hadn't really felt anything else. It's not like you could teach someone how to feel pain or happiness, after all.

Yet seeing a man (who, admittedly, wasn't hideous but not handsome either) emerge from inside his house with a tomato red blush strewn across his face whilst Izou, leaning at the doorway, gave him a lazy wave, brought to life a new emotion. It was a lot like anger, but it didn't feel as if he'd go butcher the brunette pompadour scuttled away at such a flirt from the raven. It felt more like he wanted to best the brunette in his own game.

Jealousy. That's what it was. Unexpected, new, and leaving in its wake a trail of disgust mixed with pending dominance that he refused to let loose.

After watching the brunette disappear from view, Smoker continued on his path, ignoring Izou's lax greeting and posture. He had slipped past him straight to the bedroom, almost biting through his whole cigar. The raven, now dressed in a dishevelled burnt red cloth that was intended as a kimono, had watched him storm past and shut the door behind him with a bored roll of his eyes. "And good evening to you _too_ ," Izou drawled, closing the main door, before waiting outside of the bedroom. He could see the shadow of the Marine's muscular build, probably changing into something looser by the ruffle of his clothes. He had stated firmly he wanted some privacy, and this was upheld firmly.

"Some associates are coming over tonight," Smoker grunted, although the term was incorrect.

"You actually talk to people around you, _Cactus-san_?" Izou mused in fake astonishment, enjoying the nickname he had given him.

"... Tashigi and Hina are involuntary conversational partners," he answered dryly.

The raven blinked in slight surprise. "You're bringing over women?"

"You don't seem to mind bringing men over, so what's the problem?" Smoker asked, struggling in removing his tight coat.

"The problem is that I'm certain you'll be unable to keep your hands off me in front of competition," Izou answered, slipping inside the bedroom to Smoker's unheard complaints. As expected, it was struggling to get over the distinguished muscle in his arms. He placed his hands on the man's left shoulder, pulling away the coat with a little difficulty, and repeated the same to his right arm. Now the coat only hung from his wrists, the raven drawing his nails down his back lightly, smirking as the Marine made no effort to stop him.

 _"I don't_ _lose,"_ he whispered against the man's shoulder blades. The door shutting once more broke Smoker from his trance of tantalising, feather strokes and a sinful voice that couldn't be imprisoned, and he turned to find Izou back outside, most certainly wearing a devious look of victory. The White Hunter pulled off the jacket properly and settled with a singlet he had been too lazy to wash, and came out to the kitchen to find Izou, who tossed a fresh green apple at him.

"Let's make the evening more interesting, shall we?" He had immediately closed any distance between them, and Izou held the apple over Smoker's own hand before he could attempt to take a bite. "If you can resist running with your tail between your legs to the bedroom for me, over the whole night," he took a slight bite, his teethmarks visible and the apple's skin stained with traces of red lipstick, but left practically the same, "then I'll tell you _everything you want to hear_..." There was a clear hint of teasing in Izou's voice, and he knew that the man wouldn't pass up this opportunity, even with the possible risks in mind.

Smoker, having considered the consequences (which he really didn't give a shit about), met Izou's sharp gaze with his own, his teeth overlapping the raven's marks, and ripped away a piece of the apple. He smirked, chewing to one side, and took the apple into his own possession.

"It's on."


	5. Chapter 5

**I can't fucking remember what chapter number this is, are you proud of me, Mum? hUH?! ARE YOU PROUD OF ME!?**

 **Fuck, I'm tired. Let's just get on with the story.**

* * *

Tashigi and Hina had arrived on time, with a few minutes to spare, in fact. Smoker had greeted them at the table after yelling for them to enter (like any true gentleman would), a faint blush tainting his cheeks.

Neither women had made an effort to change their appearance for tonight, but Izou, the drama "queen", had gone all out to make Smoker squirm in his seat. He had only seen him getting changed, but already, he felt like he already lost their bet.

The two visitors took their seats opposite of the man, just as Izou strutted out, unintentionally making an entrance of just coming into view, but clearly, for the sake of making it a lot harder for Smoker to cope.

Smoker had found out, as Izou pulled out a needle and thread, that he was an incredibly good tailor and worked alongside Crimin, considered to be the most fashionable company in the world. He didn't bother to stay and watch him work, but he was, without a doubt, a professional.

Izou had chosen a blood-red fabric to make his kimono for the evening, although it was a lot looser, and patterned with gold designs running along the hips. It was split close to the left leg to show off the perfect thighs he had, and if that wasn't flirtatious enough other than strapping condoms to his chest, then Smoker didn't know what was. His makeup was bold, but not overly done, a red lipstick, eye-liner and mascara with a touch of blush on his cheeks, and his hair pinned up in a rather impressive style, Izou would of been mistaken for a goddess if Smoker didn't know better.

The raven smiled softly at the sight of Hina and Tashigi, bowing in their presence. "Vice Admiral Hina and… Lieutenant Commander Tashigi, correct?" He bowed a second time, a strand of his hair falling to the side of his face. "It is an honour and a pleasure to meet you. I'm Ayame," Both women nodded to her, although Tashigi was rather in awe at how she looked, and asked her about her clothes, recognising it as limited-edition Crimin merchandise.

Hina, however, who had only managed to press a cigarette to her lips, had stared at Izou, before leaning over the table, pointing her cigarette accusingly at the man, who was still trying to deal with the fact that that was still Izou in front of him. "Hina is thoroughly surprised that Smoker-san has found such a wife," she whispered, "but Hina is assuming she needed a lot of persuasion to stay…"

It wasn't hard to tell _"Ayame"_ lacked any breasts, especially since Tashigi had watermelons under her shirt, and Hina had grapefruits under her suit, whilst Ayame was smooth, but what she lacked in that area of sexual appeal, she more than made up for in every other aspect.

Izou simply smiled at Tashigi's compliments and returned them to both women, all three clearly expecting Smoker to comment at some point on his spouse's appearance. "You look fine, Ayame…" He muttered, lighting himself a cigar. Tashigi watched him and clapped excitedly, catching both men present by surprise. "Have you been helping Smoker-san cut down, Ayame-san?"

Izou looked over to Smoker who was blushing even worse now at the fact that son of a bitch knew he was changing a little. He smiled softly, "My, well, Smoker never told me he was going so far for me." Hina looked to him disapprovingly (because you should never keep secrets from a woman, especially from her), and Smoker was considering shoving the chopsticks in front of him through both eyes to get it over and done with. The pink-haired ice queen, however, was keeping him from doing it.

 _"Ayame"_ walked over to Smoker and knelt beside him, plucking the cigar from his lips with one finely manicured hand, and the other cupping his cheek lovingly. "Arigatou, Smoker," she whispered, and kissed him softly. She pulled away after a few moments, the Marine a darker shade than the kimono, who placed the cigar back in his mouth and wandered to the stove, working over a pot with an occasional sway of his hips for Smoker's (dis)pleasure.

His right-hand seemed surprised how he had taken the affection, blushing a little herself about how strong their love appeared, whilst Hina rolled her eyes at the man, clicking her fingers in front of his face. "Oi, Casanova, we're still here. Save your erotic fantasies for once we're gone." Although Smoker wanted to retort, and tell them the truth about Ayame, he held his tongue. If he told them what the situation really was, he wouldn't get far in learning what Izou was doing here of all places.

Tashigi, feeling a strange silence fill the room, looked to Hina, snubbing her cigarette in the ash tray, and then to Smoker, who was wanting death to take him now. "Ayame-san, I hope you don't mind," she said, everyone focussed on her, "but I felt bad coming here empty-handed, so I bought you and Smoker-san a bottle of sake; to celebrate your engagement."

Smoker eased up a little, as Izou left the stove and thanked Tashigi, although Hina was the least eager. "Why don't we share it tonight?" The Devil Fruit user asked his "wife", thoroughly aware of how much Hina was dreading the thought already.

"That sounds splendid!~" Izou chirped, bringing over a selection of precisely cut sashimi, and a large bowl of rice that hadn't been finished over the past week. Tashigi got up to help Izou find the glassware (since Smoker only drunk out of a flask filled with rum), whilst Hina jabbed him accusingly with a chopstick.

"Hina knows what you're trying to do, Smoker-san!" She hissed, making sure to keep her tone down in case the other two heard. Said man didn't reply, even when Hina was clearly seething once Tashigi and Izou returned.

"Why don't you make the first toast, Hina-san?" Tashigi asked with a smile. "You are the one who organised this in the first place."

Hina, not wanting to be rude, glared at Smoker once more, and took her glass, standing up. "Hina proposes a toast to the future Mr. Smoker-san and Mrs. Ayame Smoker-san… Good luck with him, is all Hina can say." They toasted, and Hina was the first to finish her glass, immediately refilling.

Smoker smirked a little as he picked up a slice of fish. Having spent so many years with Hina in and out of work (and sometimes bed), if there was one flaw he had to give about Hina, his answer would be immediate:

She was one _hell_ of a drinker.

* * *

Thankfully for everyone dealing with a drunken Hina, she had passed out on Tashigi's shoulder having had at least five glasses, and finished the bottle. Tashigi had asked about Ayame curiously over the course of an hour-and-a-half, and Izou answered her every time.

Smoker was the other heavy drinker present, but he had…only a glass? To be honest, he didn't have the foggiest. Sure, he could hold his liquor, but having _actually_ drunken the other half of the bottle himself (Izou and Tashigi had just the one small glass) didn't mean he was exempt from alcohol's oh-so-unfair consequences.

Either way, only Izou and Tashigi were sober enough to remember their own name, and Izou awkwardly helped Tashigi up as she repositioned Hina so she wouldn't make her fall over. "T-Thank you for having us both, Ayame-san," she said, nodding to Izou, "Smoker-san," said man hadn't heard her, "and I wish a bright future for the both of you." The okama smiled, although Smoker was managing to roll over and realise how intoxicated he was.

Izou saw the two women off, and shut the door behind them, before beginning to clean up. "Are they gone…?" Smoker asked drearily, as Izou prodded him with his left foot, trying to get the empty sake bottle Smoker had hugged during his half-conscious state. The raven collected the bottle and rolled his eyes. "I'm not surprised you only _just_ realised, Cactus-san. Hina passed out before you, so you ended up chugging the rest of the bottle."

Smoker managed to get into a sitting position, just as Izou disappeared into the bedroom, probably changing for bed. The time was…some time before midnight? At least, it wasn't dawn yet, that much he knew. He stretched his aching limbs as the crossdresser came out, in his typical pink and red kimono, plus the Marine's jacket draped around his shoulders, and in Smoker's drunken stupor, he would admit internally, that he quite liked how Izou looked with his coat on.

"What time is it, anyway?" Smoker asked, before realising the okama had stopped by the doorway. He blinked, and Izou was quick to explain. "I'm going out for a bit. Don't bother waiting for me to be back, it'll be pretty early by then."

"What, where, why…" The Devil Fruit user had so many questions sitting on his tongue, but his clouded mind couldn't make legible sentences.

"I still have my rights, even as your _"wife"_ , Cactus-san," Izou said simply, and opened the door.

He didn't expect Smoker to say anything, half-drunk and still trying to figure out that he was still in the same room. There was a strange silence between them for the few minutes they were looking straight at the other. Finally, Izou smiled warmly. "My brother came by earlier, but he didn't stay long, so I'm going to be meeting him. Good night, Smoker…" At that final comment, the door shut behind the raven, and he was long gone by the time Smoker had digested his words.

Izou had a _brother_? No, wait, wait a minute, he was going to see him _now_ of all times?

The man grunted, his head still aching. Izou's family didn't concern him; he had come from China, so his brother was probably going to be here for a day or so. They wouldn't meet at all during that time, mostly because he didn't want to know what kind of people raised a crossdresser as their son. He shrugged off the thought, and began his regular routine; the 500 push-ups were first, and they alternated between both hands, one hand and clapping in between. Smoker took a few breaths, and started counting in his head.

 _One… Two…_

He hadn't even made it to five before he finally stopped, his chin slamming against the floor. That brunette he saw earlier, that pompadour: could he be Izou's brother? But they didn't appear related. Maybe they were step-brothers or friends? But that didn't explain why he came out so flustered.

Was he a _lover_? No, that couldn't be it. Of course it couldn't. Izou wasn't that attractive, was he…? Smoker couldn't lie, Izou's body was like a sculpted marble statue, and he had received more than one flirt to his knowledge, but every suitor was turned down. But, could this guy be a past lover? Or was he one of many that Izou kept feeding with his body, a sex object?

" _Three… Four… Five… FUCK!_ " Smoker yelled at the floor, wanting to smash something with his fists. Just the thought Izou was using him made him so angry, and…disappointed. No, back up here, who said he was being the fool here? What if that guy was his sex toy? I mean, it made him feel a little better, but that still meant Izou was bad, right?

He ended up grabbing the flask of whisky, and cursed when it was empty. Smoker poked through his liquor stash and opened up the first bottle he saw. One down, another two to go… And it didn't seem like it'd help him forget about Izou.

* * *

"Good morning," Izou laughed, Marco looking at the moon. "I think it's only about ten," he said, as he was tossed a wrapped present. He caught it, and looked to the crossdresser, who had climbed onboard. Marco opened the present and blushed, throwing them at Izou's back, making him smirk a little. "You're welcome," he laughed, and headed up to the quarters. Everyone else was probably asleep, but he knew Pops would be awake.

He only had to knock on the door, and the warm laughter invited him in. "Gurararara… Long time no see," the old man chuckled, sitting in his bed. Izou had a look of relief, finally seeing him after so long, and took a seat beside his bed, the nurses leaving the room to give them some privacy.

"Hey, Pops."


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm very glad I decided to sit out of playing a barbaric physical sporting activity that shares aspects with basketball and idiots; if I didn't, I wouldn't have the chance to write.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

Izou had only been a part of the family for a month, but he already felt the love from his "brothers" strongly, even if all 15 were a little weird in their own ways. Hell, he was an okama, it was surprising how unusual they were compared to himself.

The crossdresser loved the feeling of belonging; he hadn't had that feeling in years…in fact, he could hardly remember what it felt like up until then. It was as if he had a real family that actually accepted him, and that filled him with an indescribable happiness that made him determined to treasure and protect them.

Although he was loved (maybe a little too much) by his brothers, he had stepped a little too far into other's personal lives. And perhaps it was an accident that he heard Ace and Marco in the 1st Division Commander's bedroom when he was returning from his shower, and perhaps it was an accident that they left the door open a little with one of Ace's boots, and it was perhaps an accident that he saw what they were up to.

Well, he couldn't say for certain, because he enjoyed teasing Marco about his secret lover.

Thatch was another person who didn't like Izou's interference in his life, after he had seen said man with the captain's nurses, doing makeup for each other and trying out clothes (like all gay crossdressers and women do). There was a few instances in particular that had made the cook extremely jealous, especially since they were marvelling over how he kept his body so smooth (not inappropriately, but they fawned over his arms and legs in particular).

When the brunette had been pushed by a sudden current rocking the ship, and falling into the room head first, everyone was clearly ready to murder him on the spot. Izou, however, had saved him from this untimely death (not how Thatch would have put it) and lied to the nurses, saying he had been asked several times by Thatch, to sleep with him, which was the reason why he was here. It seemed to be complete bullshit, but Izou's devilish smirk and Thatch's flustered look sealed the deal, and among them, he was clearly off-bounds, as Izou's only, and gay. Thatch had disputed with him once they were alone, but the fact that he was still blushing, gave Izou an excuse to tease him whenever possible.

Izou had a lot of fun teasing his (younger) brothers, but Pops was an exception, always chuckling when Thatch was riled up, or when Izou made an obvious dirty joke that only Ace was stupid enough to not understand (he was cute, but he was an idiot sometimes). He enjoyed the man's laugh. It was warm and heartfelt, as if saying _"Welcome home, my sons"_ whenever you heard him bellow with laughter. None of them could help but smile when they heard his laugh, because it was contagious, and even Marco couldn't keep a straight face sometimes.

It had only been for a month since he was officially a part of the family, and he wanted to show he meant it; nobody would of thought he would decide to sneak into the Government, of all things, however.

* * *

He hadn't even taken a seat before the man had already started skulling his drink. The bottle was probably half empty by the time he finished with it, and he wiped off the excess with his hand. "I never would of thought there could be sake this good in such a small bottle. Gurararara…" He laughed, but it was much quieter, so the nurses were unaware of what was going on. Izou couldn't hep but smile at his soft-hearted words. "A friend of his brought it over; I was lucky to save one."

"Friends?" He was aware of the stone-faced vice admiral to be as tough as Sakazuki himself.

"Lieutenant Commander Tashigi and Vice Admiral Hina," the raven explained. "Not everyone is aware that I am his supposed "wife", yet."

"Gurarara, you'd certainly fit the part!"

This time, the moustached man laughed with much more energy, but coughed, as Izou pushed him back down to the bed (as best as possible). "The nurses told you not to force yourself, Pops," he sighed, pulling off the sheets covering his chest. Other than the iron-hard chest gained from decades of fighting, and the scars that ran across every inch of his skin, massive rolls of bandage were covering his chest, stained faintly with blood. Izou didn't want to touch those bandages; not because he was afraid or blood, or anything. But the fact that it was a grim reminder of the past. He was lucky to even survive, his chest flooded with bullet, cannonball, shrapnel and blade wounds, not to mention the gaping hole formed by the Logia user who tried to fight against him. He wouldn't of survived if Ace hadn't been saved. They were lucky to even get out of Marineford without getting killed, especially with the world's strongest forces pitted against them.

Izou, at that time, was not on either the pirates or Marines side. He supported Whitebeard, but he was a lone wolf; he only had himself to protect. Yet, he ended up aiding them in their escape, and was warmly welcomed by the commanders as one of their own. Izou never intended to join, up until that point. Ever since, he had been kept hidden from the World Government to trick them into believing he was another nurse, and not a threat.

A few nurses scuttled in worriedly and reaffixed his bandages, not too surprised he had some sake with him, and left them be in moments. The old man watched them with a faint smile. "Gurarara, angels, they are. They are what any man wants in a woman."

Izou chuckled. "Maybe not Thatch… He came to visit this afternoon."

Whitebeard blinked, in surprise, somewhat cautious of the fact that he could be identified quite easily by that pompadour, but Izou eased his fears. "Smoker didn't get a good look of him, don't worry. After all, what kind of man would come into the red-light district for anything but a little fun?"

* * *

 _"_ _You know, you really need to find a better place if you're going to be staying with this guy," Thatch had stated as soon as Izou opened the door. The okama smirked a little and kissed his cheek, dragging him inside in case anyone happened to catch them. "I never asked you to come visit me…or were you that worried about me?~"_

 _Thatch blushed, looking back at Izou with glassy eyes, as if he was about to be eaten by a Sea King. He backed away a little, and Izou laughed, giving him a light shove. "I can't believe how gullible you are!" He continued to laugh as he headed into the kitchen and brought out a steaming pot of tea._

 _The brunette took a seat, looking like an embarrassed child, and tried to no success in arguing against him. He was right (as usual), although he didn't want to admit it. Thatch had actually come to check on Izou by his own free will; not like he was worried that he was going to get hurt, or anything… But, just to…see how he was going. Yeah, that's why! Izou could take care of himself, he was just worrying too much._

 _Izou poured them both a cup of tea, and slowly sipped his tea, his lips staining the rim of the cup. As much as Thatch didn't want to admit it, he pulled off the look of a woman really well. His stance and body was perfect for the role. And he was attractive— to men other than him!_

 _The okama seemed pretty amused, watching Thatch suffer internally, and ended up prodding him to get his attention. "How's Pops?" He asked finally, and the cook returned to his usual demeanour, and drunk his own tea. "A lot better, I think. The nurses say he might be able to sit up properly in a few months if he doesn't push himself." Thatch seemed happy to talk about their father, and it set Izou at ease, as a smile graced his lips. "That's good to hear. What about everyone else? Have you been sleeping more?"_

 _"_ _Well— H-Hey!" He ended up stammering, that devilish look Izou was giving was implying something else._

 _"_ _It was worth a try… Marco didn't seem too eager talking about it before I left, but Ace wouldn't stop after I gave him some food." He sighed, and smiled. "It was worth trying to crack something out of you."_

 _Thatch huffed, and returned to his spot. "Everyone's doing well, they want to see you again soon."_

 _"_ _That doesn't surprise me…" He murmured, staring into his tea._

 _"…_ _You don't have to do this, you know," Thatch said in an assuring tone._

 _Clearly, the fact that he was putting his life on stake for an attempt at collecting information, was making Izou concerned; the brunette could see it in his eyes, the wondering, doubt-filled haze floating around was clouding the raven's mind, and, himself included, everyone was worried about him and his safety. "It'd be easy to—"_

 _"_ _No!" Izou immediately cut him off, and took the cook by surprise. "If I leave now, it will be a waste after getting this far. I'll finish what I started…" There was something else, something that Izou was hiding, but Thatch knew better than to ask._

 _"_ _Thanks for the tea, and I'm glad to see you're doing okay," Thatch said, once Izou had cleaned up and he was left standing outside. They were watched by many pairs of eyes, and it seemed to put Thatch on edge. Izou smirked, and kissed his cheek once more. "My door is always open, so come back anytime, Thatch~" He whispered into his ear, before pulling away, leaning against the door frame to watch his brother._

 _The pompadour was the only part of him that hadn't turned bright red, and he hurried off before Izou could make it worse, and didn't see him lazily wave, or the jealous Marine who had returned to see this._

* * *

Izou appeared to be lost in thought, and the man chose not to interrupt, and continued to drink. "You know," he said finally, having finished the drink and caught the okama's attention. "I'll always be here to listen if something's on your mind." He was indirectly asking Izou about what appeared to be a controversial topic for him.

The crossdresser paused. "How would you…describe Vice Admiral Smoker, Pops?"

Newgate shuffled in his spot, and appeared to think about it hard. "I don't know a lot about him, apart from what I've heard from Ace…" Izou looked a little embarrassed for asking such a question, but the old man hadn't finished. "From what I've seen and heard of him, though, he seems to be a very good-hearted person."

Izou blinked. "What makes you think that?"

The man gave him a slight glance at his curiosity, but replied, "Are pirates really bad men and women? Are Marines really the good side?"

"Well, you are, I think. But from another point of view—"

"Exactly my point," he stated. "It depends on which way you're looking at it. Just like how you see me as your father, and I see you as my son; someone else will think differently than I do. I could say he was a moron, but that won't change anything, will it?" He chuckled a little at that thought, and smiled softly at Izou. "I think he is a very honest, a very brave, and a very protective person, who doesn't want to seem weak, and won't admit the truth easily."

 _"_ _Have you been helping Smoker-san cut down, Ayame-san?"_

 _"_ _Hina proposes a toast to the future Mr. Smoker-san and Mrs. Ayame Smoker-san… Good luck with him, is all Hina can say."_

 _"_ _T-Thank you for having us both, Ayame-san, Smoker-san, and I wish a bright future for the both of you."_

Izou had fallen silent, and the man knew he had answered the question. "Have a safe trip home, Izou," he said, once more bringing the man back to the present. The okama smiled and bidded his farewells as well, thankfully, before any of his brothers woke up.

* * *

The whole house was dark, blanketed by moonlight from the almost dawn sky. Smoker would still be asleep, and Izou would be able to slip in, undress and sleep as if he had been there all night.

Well, that was the plan, anyway…

Izou pulled the door open slowly, and shut it behind him as quietly as possible. "I'm home…" He said soundlessly, tiptoeing through the hall. From the reflection of empty glass bottles that had been filled with sake, he could spot Smoker's body quite clearly, probably wasted at this hour. Izou smiled a little, stepping past the bottles which made a faint clink, and sat before Smoker's sleeping face. He looked like a child, sleeping so peacefully, and the thought that he had stayed up to wait for him made his heart ache.

He sighed a little, brushing a strand of hair away, and felt the collar of the Marine's jacket he was still wearing. Might as well return this, so he has something to use for warmth. "… I missed you," Izou whispered, kissing his lips softly. The man tasted of strong liquor and tobacco that only he could pull off so well, and the raven would of spent the night kissing those delicious lips just for their intoxicating taste.

However, as he pulled away, Smoker's lips roughly met his, and the raven was pinned to the floor, said Marine towering over him. Smoker was the first to pull away, and Izou could see his face much clearer now due to the moonlight cast upon him. His eyes were tired, but brimming with jealousy and lust, and his lips were dry along the edges, having drunk only alcohol the whole night. Izou watched his lips move, before he was forced into a kiss once more.

 _"_ _I missed you too, Izou…"_


	7. Chapter 7

**_I apologise for the lack of updates over April; half of this was planned to be the April instalment, but I was dissatisfied with the result, so I chose to expand it. This will count as the April/May update. Also, updates during June may be a rarity, due to exams. Hopefully, the next update should come around the end of June, or sometime July._**

 ** _Apologies for this. Enjoy (my early birthday present to myself, happy birthday me)_**

* * *

He could taste the liquor and tobacco on Smoker's lips. For once, the tobacco was overpowered by another source, and it was strong. Even Pops would be impressed by the strength of alcohol; it was surprising, actually, that Smoker could even react (but having slept for some amount of time may have helped) and it left Izou breathless.

The Marine clearly understood that the man underneath him needed air, and he pulled away, but still kept him pinned beneath him, hands flat by Izou's head. The look on his face was undeniably arousing, whichever sexuality one was. Izou's ink black hair was dishevelled from being pressed against the floor, and was let loose to glow in the moon's light. His eyes were wide, but showed no opposition to the position he was in, and his cheeks were tinted pink, whilst his moist lips were open slightly taking in fresh air, the red gloss covering them now smudged. His hands appeared to reach and stop Smoker but gave up amidst the kiss, the kimono crumpled under Smoker's weight, and he was still wearing his coat, like an irresistible feast on a silver platter, waiting to be devoured.

Izou watched his gaze run over him hungrily and came to several conclusions: this wasn't Smoker (which was an irrational last resort if all other theories were improbable), the man was still dreary (doubtful by the amount of energy he had, but still possible), or the man was absorbed in his drunken stupor with no logical reasoning. The okama went with the last option, but now left him with a decision to make: let Smoker do as he wants, or stop him before they would both regret it the next day.

Smoker made the decision regardless of the consequences, when he leaned down to Izou's ear and snarled, "You're mine, _remember_."

Izou blinked. They hadn't had their "marriage" yet (that was to be scheduled when Izou's supposed family had the chance to attend), but he realised it was because of today's incident with Thatch; clearly, Smoker had the wrong idea, but who said it was _wrong_ , anyway? He decided to use this in his favour, and smirked. "I'm a tailor, Smoker-san, I meet with all sorts of women and men," he cooed, but the Marine took his words as complete bullshit. "And you flirt with them?"

"Oh, you just happened to see one of my current clients; innocent man doesn't know how to have fun," he teased, watching Smoker's expression darken.

The white-haired man now bit harshly into Izou's neck, but not enough to draw blood. The faint whiskers on his chin brushing along his trachea sent shivers down Izou's spine. That was _too fucking good_. "You slept with him, didn't you," Smoker said, as his teeth kneaded the pale flesh like he was trying to taste every inch of it. Either way, Izou knew, his response wouldn't change anything, but he still shuddered and whispered, "N-No."

Smoker bit harder and a numb pain filled Izou's neck as he lapped up the blood dripping from his raptured skin. "Liar," he hissed.

"I'm not lying—" Izou began to counter him, but a soundless moan cut him off as Smoker shifted his teeth.

"Don't lie to me, I can smell it on you," he muttered, holding some of his hair and breathed in his scent.

Izou swallowed; fuck, Smoker was really arousing when drunk. "That's my perfume, Cactus-san," he said with a snicker.

Those deep grey eyes returned to his view, Smoker's lips stained red from both Izou's lipstick and blood. He licked his lips, but watched him suspiciously. The raven smirked, Smoker having freed one of his arms, he licked the index finger and rubbed it across Smoker's lips, before showing him the red stains. "You should be more responsible and clean your mess, Cactus-san," Izou mused, before sucking on the finger to clean it.

The tennis ball in Smoker's throat shifted as he swallowed, and Izou could feel an extra weight on top of him, courtesy of pure sexual excitement. He chuckled softly, as Smoker's cheeks turned a faint shade of red that was barely noticeable. "Don't tell me this is your first time with a man, hm?"

Izou hit the mark; not surprisingly, especially because Ace had clung to Marco like a leech. They seemed compatible, but Ace hadn't started anything, which made Izou smirk. He could teach Smoker the basics himself, and he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy virgins. The fact that he was teaching this piece of eye-candy was the icing on the cake for him.

"Should I show you the difference between condoms for men and women?" He teased, but clearly, Smoker's pride as a man (somewhat shattered since Izou came into his life) wasn't going to roll over that easily, and he silenced him once more with a rougher kiss. The raven was expecting his change of heart — man pride and all — but let Smoker take control without hesitation, and he instinctively kissed him back gradually once they had gotten into a pattern.

Their tongues entangled with each other, Smoker pulled at Izou's kimono, but Izou pulled away before said man would rip it, and began to undo the sash. "You rip this, I rip them," he warned, panting slightly. Smoker seemed to take that threat lightly, snickering, before crushing his lips against Izou's whilst he pulled away the kimono, and the okama with his singlet. They parted for breath, and Smoker's hungry gaze roamed over the marble statue-like figure beneath him.

Izou interrupted him before he went any further, however. "Those." He looked at Smoker's pants. "Off. Now."

Seeing as he only had the Marine's coat to cover him (which wouldn't help much, since it was spread beneath him) and had crossed his legs to prevent him getting any further, Smoker could only comply, somewhat embarrassed. It wasn't just because Izou was watching him with a Cheshire smile, but it was the fact that he was the first to actually see it. All his previous fucks were just brief "drop of the pants, rough sex, pull the pants back up" kind of scenarios, and Izou had made certain to hide his prize before Smoker could catch a glimpse, unfortunately for the Marine; at least then he could possibly retain _some_ manly pride.

Smoker never bothered to wear proper underwear, since he went around in shorts or pants despite the weather, and so, like ripping off a bandaid, he pulled off his pants before the doubtful side of him could have a say in the matter. Instead of a burning sting, there was complete silence, and he didn't see the expression on Izou's face.

Izou seemed to realise Smoker was too flustered to continue without a little "push", and his fingers glided along the man's thighs. He had sat up now, with the Marine coat hanging on his shoulders, a pleased smirk unable to leave his lips. Smoker blushed as the delicate touch went higher, and he could feel the cool fingertips caressing the white hair surrounding his throbbing member, shuddering slightly. His legs wanted to collapse at the touch, but it was as if he didn't have the energy to do that, and let Izou gaze over his entire body.

The Marine's coat was actually thicker than what one would imagine, especially since Izou could currently see the pulsating veins of his muscles, even in such poor light. His whole body was a creamy colour as if it was coloured using fine pastels wielded by a great artist. Every twitch of his body, muscle to body hair, was visible, and Izou _loved_ it.

Smoker tried and failed to look away from Izou, as he held his length and inspected it like it was a foreign thing. Here, especially, Smoker's veins were obvious, even with the extra layer of skin around the tip. The raven smirked a little — this was what he was so embarrassed about? Izou certainly had seen larger, but Smoker's was actually appealing for its size (unlike those that looked like you could choke on in the middle of a blowjob), and he chuckled quietly, his nails pulling at the skin covering. "The big bad Marine is actually quite self-conscious of himself; I never would of thought it," he teased, watching Smoker shudder at the minor satisfaction.

His nails continued to play with the tip, running along its slit easily, and he lowered his lips onto his length, and softly kissed it, leaving an obvious red lipstick stain. "Now this," Izou said with a smirk, "is now mine." Smoker growled a little at the fact he was being drawn along by the man, but Izou stood up and pressed a finely manicured finger to his lips. "Now now, there's no need to act so fierce~" He pressed his chest against Smoker's, making sure that he could feel his length throbbing against his thigh.

"Just obey the warden, and do as he says, _okay_?~" He said with a chuckle.

* * *

Izou couldn't tell if Smoker was wallowing in self-pity, if he was regretting having a dozen bottles of wine in a single night, or both. He could barely remember how they ended the night, but having gone from the floor to winding up in the bath together (which was extremely uncomfortable) meant they probably went for quite a few rounds. They were both covered in bite marks and lipstick stains across their bodies, and Smoker had barely managed to cover a dark bruise just below his chin,

Whatever had happened, Izou certainly enjoyed it. And Smoker… Well, he was still denying the fact, especially as Izou had wound up beneath him the next morning.

The man was late getting up, having crawled out of the bathroom and into the bedroom with a negative aura. Izou had found his clothes (which needed a wash because of the smell of sex hanging around them) strewn across the house —they probably made use of the fine materials in their activities — and Smoker's clothes had been returned to the bedroom, so he would't have to see the path they took.

Smoker had immediately left the house, dressed, and avoiding the elephant in the room, which made Izou smirk. He had lost the bet; he had just spent the night fucking the crossdresser, and he was supposedly going to marry "her". Yeah, he had a lot to sort out as of today.

Izou finished cleaning up their mess, before changing into a fresh kimono, reapplied his smudged makeup, and left as well. He pulled out a baby Den Den Mushi and smiled, as the snail's eyes blinked, its curled moustache (a personal touch of his own) bobbing with the movement of its mouth. "I'm ready when you are."

The raven smiled, and laughed quietly. "I'll be waiting at our usual spot, then, Vista."

* * *

It wasn't often that Smoker was defeated in non-Devil Fruit fighting, but for the fourth time, Hina had pinned him to the floor with his own jutte, sitting on his back like she had caught a beast. "Hina sees your thoughts to be elsewhere, Smoker-san. Hina is irritated that you aren't focussed on practicing."

The white-haired Marine ignored her, and shifted a little, his body stinging from being thrown like a rag doll by his associate, and the bruises littered across his body. He was torn between how much he had enjoyed that night, and how disgusted he felt with himself for enjoying it. They were _both men_ , for fuck's sake. And no man should have such an arousing figure like a woman. It was just…

Hell, he didn't know what it was.

Hina finally let him go, dismissing him as an incompetent fighter who relied too much on his speed to attack, rather than to defend. Smoker had worn his coat the whole session, and the fact that it smelt like Izou just added salt to the wounds.

"S- Smoker-san!" Tashigi's chirpy voice was the last thing he wanted to hear right now, but the Marine had found him and clearly wanted his attention. Said man gave her an agitated glare, but Tashigi seemed unfazed, holding a picture in her hand. The White Hunter grabbed the picture with a growl, and this time, his underling seemed a little startled. "Surveillance just picked this up, Smoker-san, I thought you should—"

She couldn't finish his sentence as he tore the picture in half and stormed off, making sure to ground his boots into the face of the mystery man Izou was affectionately talking with (if the hand on his wrist was some idea) outside a nameless restaurant. Said raven looked quite happy, and it made Smoker's blood boil.

For whatever reason, whether he actually cared, or if he felt the okama was cheating on him, Smoker didn't want to think about. All he knew, is that his heart stung and the bruises on his body ached.

 _Fucking hell, it stung._


	8. Chapter 8

**_Agh, maths is giving me a headache… Where's a creeper, I need a bellyrub 'orz_**

 ** _…What are you looking at me for? I learnt it from a mudkip in a suit; got a problem with that?_**

 ** _Sorry for the wait, brahs, please enjoy~ '(- -),_**

* * *

If one looked closely at the White Hunter on a regular basis, then you would know that Smoker's facial expressions were limited to frowning, straight-lipped, showing teeth as he growled like a wild dog, or threatening to rip off your balls with a roar. His eyes just had that regular look, the silent anger, unleashed by fools who crossed his wires. And, as always, his eyebrows were scrunched up, even when lighting a cigar, because he was always in thought regardless.

At the moment, there was history being made. Eyebrows furrowed, eyes burning everything in sight, and his teeth crushing any cigars he lit. Smoker was pissed off to an extreme level. Not even his peers had witnessed Smoker seeing red, but they knew as well as anyone to leave him be.

Regardless of this, Tashigi continued to toddle after him, having picked up the ripped picture timidly before hurrying after him, inspecting the unknown man with a frown. "Because of the angle, his face isn't visible," she murmured, looking to her superior for ideas. As expected, he was quiet; it wasn't the same silence he usually held.

He turned, and pushed open a door, as Tashigi scrambled to keep up with his fastened pace. "S- Smoker-san, where are you—" She was cut off once the man stopped, pulling over a wooden chair, and he lit himself a new cigar as he took a seat. Tashigi finally stopped to look at their surroundings; this was a surveillance room, the one she had been watching Izou on. It was filled with screens displaying Den Den Mushis' sight, one in the top right corner locked onto Izou and the man. It was live and recording, but not close enough to pick up their discussion.

"How do you move the fucking snail," he finally said, his voice brittle and tired, as if the energy had been seeped out of him. Tashigi pulled up a chair beside him, and looked around for the mouse. It was more like a smooth ball in a box, that you rolled about to slowly edge the snail forward (since snails were known for their speed), and each snail was controlled by a separate "mouse". Thankfully, each were numbered, and she quickly found the mouse for number 0442, and handed it to her superior, who begun playing around with its controls to get it moving.

* * *

Vista was surprising, in more ways than one. He looked like a handsome man, he sounded flirtatious and straight, hell, he walked confidently like a man calling for a mate, but he wasn't a duck, and he wasn't what was expected.

For starters, Vista wasn't straight. He didn't mind taking a woman to bed, but he was more gay than bisexual, which was where most people tripped up on. Second, he wasn't necessarily confident. Certainly, he was a brilliant swordsman, but he wasn't as skilled as other commanders of the crew; instead of being offensive, he was more defensive in battle. Usually, he would counterattack, or aim for an opening, but in a fast-paced fight, he was at a disadvantage.

Vista also wasn't the type to boast. Even with his appearance (admittedly, he looked like a noble foreigner, or at least, that's what Izou first thought), he didn't care about his looks, unlike the crossdresser. His pride seemed to be torn between his choice in clothing, or his fine moustache; probably both, since he never failed to keep up that elusive aura of his, anytime, anywhere.

Another thing to note about Vista, is that he was like a teddy bear, in the way that you could tell him all your problems and not get criticised; that was one of the ways their relationship still thrived. The other being that if one needed to let out some tension, the other would help them out without question. Izou never hesitated when Vista came into his quarters and asked for some sexual relief, he simply did what he wanted, and they both ended up sprawled somewhere, soaking in the aftermath of it like there was nothing strange. And surprisingly enough, there wasn't anything wrong with their relationship. The two had been "friends with benefits" long before Izou joined the crew officially, and even Newgate accepted it; "not like I want to pull you two apart," he had said with a wink, when they finally confessed. It was a merely platonic relationship, and they'd do each other favours when the other asked in return for a reward.

"You're a married woman," Vista had said when he was asked out, shaking his head. "You're talented, but I don't think you can satisfy two men at the same time, Izou." Because of this, Izou just got him some shaving cream, and received a look that bordered between punching him in the face, and cutting off his family jewels. Thankfully, nobody was injured (or castrated), and they ended up laughing like old friends over a meal payed by the swordsman himself. Izou had instructed him to be silent and not ask questions prior to their meeting, but slid him a napkin with some writing that wouldn't be read by the snail.

"How's your meal?" Izou asked, as he wrote, _"We're being watched"_.

Vista took a sip of his drink (only the finest wine at such a casual meal), and answered, "Nowhere near half." _"Does your boyfriend always keeps tabs on you?"_

"What's that supposed to mean?" Izou had already written his reply: _"He's kept in the loop. Does it bother you?"_

"It's not even half as good as you~" _"It's fine, but I can already see the White Hunter frothing at the mouth."_

"Such poor pick up lines," Izou said, chuckling softly. _"He'll learn to deal with it."_

"You don't seem to mind them when we're alone, Ayame~" _"So why'd you want me out here, anyway?"_

"Oh please!" He said with a laugh, and smirked. _"I wanted to see you; is there a problem with that?"_

Vista placed a hand onto "hers" and looked deeply into Izou's eyes. _"I can tell there's something else bothering you, Izou. Talk to me."_

The snail behind them fell to the ground, as Izou's Baby Den Den Mushi rung quietly. _"I'll explain later. I'lll meet you in your quarters tonight."_ The crossdresser excused himself, and Vista faked a smile, kissing Izou's hand delicately, and left quietly, leaving Izou to answer his call in peace, and was met by a worried Tashigi.

Izou faked a look of surprise upon hearing her voice, placing the fallen snail onto the table. "Hello there, Tashigi! I hope Cactus-san isn't giving you too much trouble~" The Marine, met by a calm Ayame, and Smoker (who had crushed the snail's mouse like an apple), was like facing two dogs, and she was the bone. "U-Um, Smoker-san…and I!" She quickly added, and Izou raised an eyebrow. "Put Smoker on, please."

The White Hunter snatched the receiver from Tashigi, barely able to control himself from destroying that as well. "Never pictured you playing favourites." Their reception crackled, and Tashigi scrambled to hook up the snail to a stable connection, before realising what she had plugged it into.

"Who said I was picking favourites? You just happened to have caught me with one of my esteemed clients. A charming man, I'm sure he'd love to meet Tashigi-san." The okama overheard her voice slightly, and smirked in realisation as Smoker had yet to catch on. "But if you mean in terms of sex, then, well, admittedly, he can really satisfy a woman's needs."

Smoker growled, ignoring his underling who was struggling to unplug the snail. "What about that other boytoy of yours from yesterday? How many other men have you sucked the life out of, Ayame?"

Izou chuckled. "Ah yes, that one, the brunette. His friends weren't nearly as good as he was, to say the least. Certainly well-bred, unlike yourself."

The man threw aside the receiver, and eventually ended up yelling at the screen in pure anger. "How much more of a slut are you going to be, Ayame!? Women should be proper and dignified, not scandalous, disgusting prostitutes like yourself!" A silence fell upon the two, but Izou's reaction was unreadable. He finally spoke, in a calm voice. "Tashigi-san, could you do me a favour?"

She grabbed the receiver, and quickly replied. "Y-Yes, Ayame-san?"

Izou chuckled softly, standing up and pushing her chair in. "Could you and Hina-san kindly replay this for my incompetent fiancé, until he finally understands how idiotic of a man he was, and comes crawling back to me? I'll be staying with a friend until then, so I can't have my private life intruded upon." He blew a kiss to the snail, and hung up, closing the surveillance Den Den Mushi's eyes.

Tashigi timidly put the receiver back, and the cord attached to the snail unplugged itself easily. She swallowed, looking at Smoker who had punched a hole the size of his fist into the wall. "What did you hook that snail into, to keep the connection, Tashigi?" She made sure to give herself enough space to run, should Smoker suddenly erupt like a volcano. He glared at her darkly, and the younger panicked a little as she answered.

"The…um… Marine Headquarters main server, which…automatically recorded your entire conversation…and, uh…transmitted it to all Den Den Mushi's on our frequency."

Smoker let out an annoyed breath from his nose, already expecting the pink-haired woman to haul him away with a glare. And, as expected, she did so in less than two minutes, with Tashigi hurrying behind the two concerned. "H-How many people were listening to that broadcast, anyway, Hina-san?" She forced Smoker into his office, threw him onto his chair, and bound his wrists with kairoseki cuffs. She puffed a cloud of smoke, rubbing her eyes. "And Hina-san thought you were overreacting back then… That was transmitted to more than half of the naval fleet."

Tashigi panicked, but Hina waved it off, flicking Smoker's forehead, said Marine ignoring her irritated behaviour. "Don't worry, this was to be expected. He did the same thing to Hina-san, back when we were rookies."

"Y-You two were in a relationship!?" She asked, surprised. She was always curious about why he hated the woman with a burning desire.

Hina chuckled. "Several times, until Hina-san realised he was too hot-headed for Hina-san to handle."

Tashigi blinked, and swallowed her courage. "Is…is that why you're so eager to sort this out?"

The older of the two snubbed her cigarette into the desk, and slapped Smoker hard across the face. He didn't react, and the blue-haired Marine was staring dumbfounded. Hina pulled his face up by the strands of his hair, glaring at him fiercely. "Hina-san has known you for long enough to know how you think. And Hina-san knows that you would never act so stupid and idiotic, like you did to Ayame." She stared at him for a moment longer, before slapping him again, and turned around to face Tashigi.

The man's underling had covered her mouth, staring in pure shock at the brutal treatment Smoker had received, and the fact that he hadn't snapped back at her like always, for her behaviour. "Don't fuck up this one opportunity, Hina-san suggests." The woman spoke softly, a light clink as she lit herself another cigarette, and slid back her lighter. With her back facing him, she sighed tiredly. "You'll never come across someone like Ayame-san again, and Hina-san knows for a fact that you'll never be given another chance if you do something as stupid as that here. Hina-san will support your argument to keep your position, but Hina-san knows that only you can sort things out between the two of you."

She handed Tashigi the keys to his cuffs, and blew away another cloud of smoke. "Hina-san will be back in an hour, whilst Hina-san goes to vouch for you. Until then, Hina-san highly recommends you think up some decent apologies for Ayame." The pink-haired Marine left quietly, waiting for the silence to be broken by Tashigi, chattering to her superior or checking on his condition, or by Smoker, growling at her to be released, or swearing in pure anger for a mixture of reasons.

Even as she waited, and finally left, there wasn't a sound from Smoker's office.

* * *

Unlike his previous visits, Izou made a beeline for Vista's quarters, knocking on his door whilst watching the doors surrounding him. It wasn't that he wasn't comfortable being with Pops, or his brothers, but Vista was an exception to him. Not because of their "relationship", or their history, or anything. The door opened, Vista's hair washed, and a towel hung on one shoulder. He moved aside for Izou to enter, and shut the door behind him, excusing himself to return the towel to its original place.

One of the reasons Izou preferred talking with Vista, is that his room had a much more comfortable feeling about it, like coming into a warm house in the middle of winter; it was relieving, inhaling the scent of the spices Vista bathed in, or playing with the satin sheets he had adorning his room. The man was a foreigner, unlike Izou, born and raised in Asia; in comparison, Vista had lived on the streets of the vibrant Western countries, "where the lights never died and the sun never set", as he had described it himself. The velvet, satin, cashmere and other materials that Izou had only obtained through his brother were uncommon where he had grown up, and it always felt like he was stepping into a painting every time he entered.

The swordsman grabbed a bottle and two wine glasses, before curling up on the bed almost like a feline. Izou smiled softly, and joined Vista; they had done this on many occasions. It was hard not to enjoy a hug, even if you were a grown man. Vista handed Izou a glass filled with fine wine, and sat the bottle aside, pulling him into his lap casually. "Now, tell me everything," he instructed, clearly not eager to let him go until he had finished talking.

Izou did as requested; he told Vista about everything, even if he had heard it before. Vista listened patiently, sipping on his drink, and by the end of Izou's spiel, the two had gone through not even half the bottle, having been in deep focus on the issue at hand. The man had ended up curling Izou's hair, as he lay in his chest staring into his glass tiredly. "… And that's about it."

Vista hummed, and took another sip, before sitting his glass aside. "Not quite."

Izou looked up at him, and he knew there was no escaping that devilish look; throughout the entire conversation, Izou had avoided the elephant in the room like he had with Thatch. The raven looked away childishly, and Vista chuckled, lifting his face back up to his. "Come on, you know I'm not going to let this go otherwise." He pulled on Izou's ear, and the okama swatted him before giving in, crossing his arms. "I know; that's just like you."

"You don't just take anyone to bed, Izou. So why him?"

Before Izou could answer, Vista shot him a look, requesting a real answer. Izou looked away, his cheeks tinted red ever so slightly. "… I don't know."

The swordsman laughed, and pushed Izou up. "Then why don't you go and find out, then? I'm certain he'd be waiting for you."

Izou hit him, babbling excuses that make the swordsman smile, even as Izou kissed him (on the cheek, of course) good night, and walked off into the night, but still a lump sat in his stomach. Izou wasn't necessarily his lover or his brother, but he loved him regardless, and didn't want to see him get hurt.

He had dug a hole, getting into a relationship with Smoker, and if he fell too deep, there was no way for him to climb back out. And that was what made him uncomfortable.

"Be safe," he whispered to himself, for Izou in more ways than one.

* * *

 ** _"Purururu… Pururururu… Gatcha."_**

"This is Borsalinoooooo~" A man in gold shades leaned back in his chair, to the distaste of his underling.

 ** _"A-Admiral Kizaru! We have struggled to contact any other higher ups, but this is a great urgency!"_** The Marine spluttered into the receiver.

"Hmmmm?~ What is it?" Sentomaru rolled his eyes as he stared back at the Den Den Mushi.

 ** _"W-Well, um, you see…"_**

Sentomaru snatched the receiver from the Admiral. "Answer the fucking question, what do you need!?"

The snail looked scared, but the Marine quickly swallowed his fear, and finished his sentence:

 ** _"W-We have captured him, Sir! Or, her! U-Um… We have captured Whitebeard's 16th Division Commander!"_**


	9. Chapter 9

**Since Donald Trump has been elected president, Australia is waiting to allow gay marriage, and our fucking immigration minister has jumped on the bandwagon of "all Muslims are terrorists" and believes that allowing Muslims into Australia was a mistake (my faith in humanity has been crushed), I figured now was a better time than any to update.**

 **Enjoy~**

* * *

Tashigi had gone home hours ago; at the moment, now, cracking past dawn, Hina and Smoker were glaring each other from either side of an empty wine bottle. Their heads were slumped onto the table, ugly grey bags underneath their eyes, and lowly growling like dogs threatening each other.

The woman had wasted her night trying to regain Smoker's common sense, to realise how much he needed Ayame, and that he should crawl home on his hands and knees, begging for forgiveness. Unfortunately, the White Hunter didn't kneel down to anyone (except Izou when he'd suck him off, but Hina didn't need to know that), and so she had been here for more than ten hours, giving him a dark look when she wasn't unconsciously sleeping.

Too much alcohol and cigarettes were put to waste because of how stubborn Smoker was; he had been held back by the cuffs (Tashigi sided Hina and wanted to teach her superior a lesson, but she had to eventually admit she actually just misplaced the key), but Hina had been kind enough to light him a cigar every so often to keep him awake, although half of the reason she did so was to burn his skin when he didn't reply.

The wine bottle was half-full with ashes, smoke and squashed cigarettes, and both had killed their lungs from inhaling so much smoke in a short span of time, but it didn't stop Hina from talking.

"When the fuck are you going to admit it, Smoker," she drawled, having had more than half of the bottle to herself (the rest she poured on him or spilt over his desk), and sucking on her umpteenth cigarette of the hour. She awkwardly sat up, and pointed her cigarette at him accusingly.

Yes, the bottle had been emptied quite quickly, but the fatigue drowning both Hina and Smoker's minds was strong. She had barely slept, and when she did, it was incredibly short, less than an hour in total. Smoker had slept most of the time, aside from when she screamed in his ear, roughly prodding his shoulder with his baton, and when she knocked over his chair, and he landed on his shoulder.

Said Marine had been quiet almost all night, aside from swearing at the pink-haired witch when he was awoken, or flatly refusing to answer her questions when she was tipsy (questions like "are you secretly gay", he made sure not to give her any ideas in particular). He had a lot of time to dwell on his thoughts when he didn't have liquor in his ears, or when he didn't have to hear Hina screeching at him when he fell asleep.

Smoker never enjoyed sleeping in general; it gave him too much time to think. Not about the criminals still on the loose, or plotting Hina's metaphorical murder in his mind, but actually thinking about issues he had. His well-being, his job, the families involved in pirates' mess, and especially Izou.

Sleeping was the perfect time to make decisions, and he hated it because of that.

"Y-You really need Ayame by your side, you…idiot," she mumbled, taking another deep breath of her cigarette. Smoker didn't bother looking up at her, and Hina seemed to have finished her spiel, as she squashed her cigarette in the man's hair, mistaking it as an ash tray.

Hina yawned, getting up, and walked past Smoker (he could hear her, and she was slightly visible from his perspective), pulling away his shut curtains, and cursed, as she kept them to both sides. "Fuck you, sun, why do you have to be so bright…" She grumbled, yawning once more.

The door suddenly burst open and both superiors looked up drearily.

"Smoker-san!" Tashigi said quite quickly, in a firm salute.

"Hina-saaaaan!~" The woman's pathetic underlings, former Lieutenant Fullbody and former pirate Django, swooned over their intoxicated captain, and gave sloppy salutes, with an excited look in their faces, like children at christmas.

The pink-haired captain groaned, their high-pitched girly squeals forcing a headache upon her. "What the fuck do you two want…" She hissed, grabbing the side of the table.

Both men clearly panicked, and Tashigi was the one to explain for them. "Fleet Admiral Sakazuki is addressing all superiors, we are all to attend." Both Hina and Smoker looked at her as if she was lying, but the younger remained firm-faced.

Hina sighed tiredly. "You two, help Smoker out and get us some strong coffee. Tashigi, I'm relying on you." Fullbody and Django looked dejected that they couldn't be close to their captain, but didn't refuse her orders, and both men begun to pull Smoker up before realising his cuffs were still attached.

Tashigi laughed nervously, scratching her head. "I still couldn't find the key… Sorry, Smoker-san." The man gave her a tired glare, before being knocked back into his seat, as Fullbody pushed from the back, and Django, holding one of the chair's arms, pulled him forwards. The chair wasn't designed to be moved about much, but thankfully, their training had paid off and they were strong enough to force the chair to move.

Tashigi held some of Hina's weight, whilst both men pushed the chair out of the door; being asked by Akainu to a meeting was a great honour, good or bad. And for rookies, this was something not to be missed.

The chair slid ahead of both women, who stumbled behind them, following the lower-ranked Marines down several flights of stairs (Smoker nearly threw up on the way down, and Hina just took it easy), before parking in front of one of the cells, met by the dark glare of Admiral Akainu.

His gaze burnt into the newcomers, but he looked away to face what Smoker realised was one of the cells, by the iron-grates, which was currently occupied. "I'm glad you could join us," he said flatly, as if criticising them for their current situation and intoxicated states. "Last night, we received information on Whitebeard's 16th Commander, and we immediately took action and arrested them for questioning."

They all visibly tensed; Marine HQ had been on high alert since it was learnt of a sixteenth commander, and information about them was kept between the higher ups, and their own respective branches, none of which included Smoker, Tashigi, Fullbody or Django.

Hina, however, had some affiliation in the case (from storming in and defending Smoker's case, she automatically became part of it, having learnt some key details), and she lit herself a cigarette, looking to the Admiral for more information. "Does he match the description?"

Sakazuki clearly grimaced at that question, but answered Hina with, "Kizaru and Sentomaru have been questioning him all night; he fits the part, but he doesn't know anything. I expect you might be able to have some influence on him."

The woman saluted, and Akainu left with an irritated look, but their thoughts were cut short from the sudden voice coming from the cell.

"Owww! Saki-chan is finally gone, thank heavens for that!"

The prisoner stood up from the shadows, and perched himself on the tips of his toes, performing a pirouette. "Now I can dance, ah, such joy!~ Un, deux, trois!~ Un, deux trois!~" Sitting inside was a raven with terrible makeup, hairy legs, and ballet shoes, twirling around inside an area barely large enough for someone of his size to perform a full spin.

"And Saki-chan even left me new friends!~ Darlings, tell me your names, please, I must know what to call you!~" He chanted happily, winking to the rookies. Fullbody and Django looked sick, and Tashigi avoided his gaze to see what Hina would do in response. She, however, simply looked him over, until the man's attention was on her.

"Un, deux, trois! Darling, why do you give me such a dark look?~" He asked, tearing up. "It breaks my heart to see my friends look so serious! Liven up a bit!~"

"Your name," Hina said firmly.

"Hm?" The prisoner looked up, before appearing embarrassed. "My, my! How rude! I should have introduced myself, shouldn't I?~" He cleared his throat, and performed a pirouette once again. "You may call me Bon Kurei, darling!~ I'm a proud crossdresser from Newkama Kingdom, ow!~" Bon Kurei continued to spin in place, looking rather pleased.

"Do you know why you've been arrested?"

"Ow!~ Darling, I thought it was because I was a pirate; but not any more! I have since changed my ways, owwwww!~"

"You were a pirate? Who was your captain?" She asked, expecting something stronger to use against the okama's word.

"Captain? Darling, I was obviously the captain, uhahaha!~ My crew and I were in search of Queen Ivankov, of course!~" He said proudly.

The colour drained from Hina's face; this suspect was more annoying than she had first thought.

Smoker pulled at his cuffs annoyedly, and Bon Kurei looked over to him, ignoring Hina's further questioning. "Ow! Darling, it seems you're bound to that chair, whatever shall you do?" Crying, the okama suddenly smiled, preparing himself for something. "But never fear, my new friend!~"

He tapped his face, and his entire body changed. They had a look of shock momentarily, as he flicked through several bodies, until he had found the one he wanted (a pirate serving the Warlord Buggy, a Devil Fruit user with the power to manipulate wax, who had escaped Impel Down), and shaped himself a key, throwing it to Tashigi.

"Consider it a gift, from me to you, darling!~" He sung happily, returning to normal. "That key wouldn't unlock this cell, so you can have it for free. Owwww!~"

The swordswoman unlocked Smoker's handcuffs, and Hina paid him a quick glance. "Don't make Hina-san say it again, Smoker-san. Go." She ordered, returning to the okama who was still singing happily, waving off the Marine absorbed with thoughts of Ayame— no, Izou.

All he could think about right now was Izou, and he didn't know why.

* * *

Being a man who concealed his identity certainly had its benefits. Izou had safely returned from an abandoned port, where the Moby Dick was docked at, through back alleys usually filled with suitors and brothels, and into the heart of the red-light district with no interruptions. Marines had been patrolling the area all night, checking obvious men with makeup, or any kind of feminine clothing on, and a few crossdressers were taken in as a result of their search.

The soldiers searching the area must've been made familiar of Izou, if Smoker's tantrum was anything to go by, and he was greeted kindly by most Marines, who seemed to be envious of Smoker for such a beautiful fiancé.

However, the one person who didn't seem phased by Izou, was a lanky man in a white suit and blue shirt, leaning against a wall as if he was trying to catch some sleep. The okama recognised him immediately; Admiral Aokiji, he learnt, was perhaps the most intelligent Admiral in the Admiral trio (using Borsalino as a child and Sakazuki as a sexually tense adult who lived with his mother), and was not to be misinterpreted.

Kuzan had had his eyes shut until the crossdresser had passed, catching his line of sight. He watched Izou for a few moments, before talking to the Marine nearest to him, ignoring his salute as he strolled to Izou, cranning his neck a little to get a better look of his face.

"So you're Smoker's fiancé," he mused, seemingly bored of the topic already.

"Admiral Aokiji, it is a pleasure to finally meet you," Izou smiled softly and bowed, hearing the Marines' voices disperse into the sounds of the red-light district. "What brings you to this area?"

Said Admiral stood up properly, probably a few feet taller than Izou, and scratched the back of his head. "Arara… I was hoping to congratulate Smoker in person, but neither of you were home. So, I decided to wait for one of you to pass by."

"In a place like this?" Izou smirked a little. "You shouldn't treat yourself so poorly, Admiral, sleeping outside in such a dangerous area. Would you like to join me for some tea?"

Aokiji looked surprised at hearing the offer, but accepted, and accompanied Izou home — since it was still late, the house was empty until the two entered. The crossdresser lead him to the table, and excused himself to change into something more appropriate. Kuzan simply nodded, attempting to cross his legs without disturbing anything.

He had a quick look of the room, and commented once Izou returned, "Smoker still has cleaning up to do, it seems."

Izou blinked, and Aokiji pointed out some remains of their earlier "activities" that had been missed. It had been hidden underneath Smoker's pants; the thought that he would walk around with an obvious stain made him smile a little.

"Sorry about that," he said immediately, cleaning up the mess. Aokiji kindly disregarded it, and watched Izou start boiling a pot of tea. "Could you tell me how you met Smoker?" He asked curiously, as Izou sat down some cups.

"It's an arranged marriage; I originally came from China, but I had met his parents earlier."

"What about your parents?"

"They heard about it, but they haven't met Smoker yet — troubles at home."

"Ah… Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"I'm the eldest of my four brothers, two married and one engaged."

Aokiji seemed surprised to receive such immediate responses, more so after Izou sat down, poured them both tea, and said, "What about you, Admiral?"

The unexpected question left Aokiji watching him sip his tea, awaiting a response. Finally, he shook his head. "Not yet, no. I'm still looking."

Izou smiled warmly in return. "I'm certain there would be a woman lucky to have you, Admiral."

The man thanked her, and sipped his own tea in silence, until he finally had the courage to ask. "Ayame-san," he said her name for the first time all evening, "may I ask you for a favour?" He was surprised to see a casual smile spread upon Izou's lips, as if waiting for this to come up.

"Of course, Admiral, whatever you need~"


End file.
